On Track Solutions

Track 2: Staying on Track

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Track 2: Index

4. Supporting Your Efforts Over Time

4a. Building support

Building support is a critical part of any weight loss or any self-improvement effort. Support provides you with encouragement, helpful feedback, and a positive attitude. The support will help you maintain motivation and successfully handle slips and setbacks. Sometimes this support will involve praise and other times you may need a kick in the pants. Support comes from two sources yourself and others. Getting the support you need from others can be challenging, and yet many people find the hardest thing is to give themselves the support they need.

To create the support that you are needing, try

Practice talking to yourself in a positive, encouraging tone. How often are you giving yourself compliments, such as "Way to go!" and other positive feedback? Take a day to really think about how often it happens. Many people feel awkward, silly or think it is not necessary. Yet, you know that it is important. Ignore the uncomfortable feelings and start trying it!

Know what kind of support you are wanting. There are many ways to support a person. You may want some encouragement and compliments, or you may need some advice or practical assistance. Having a clear idea of what you need will help you give it to yourself. You will also be prepared to get what you need from others.

Teach people what you need. Do you assume that others should know what you need? People are not very good at knowing, and you may not be in the habit of teaching them what kind of support you need. Of course, you will want to make good choices about the people you seek out for support. Are they capable or likely to be helpful?

Caution Areas!

Support sounds good of course, but many people go without the level of support they really need. The following issues may be interfering with your getting the support you need

Overly harsh, critical talk to oneself
Self-sufficiency. An "I should be able to do this on my own" expectation
Needing support and encouragement feels like weakness
Asking from others feels too vulnerable, open to being hurt
Over focus on the needs of others, while dismissing your needs

Getting support is an underdeveloped skill for many people. To learn more about how you can be more effective at getting support, read Chapter 9, Who’s Supporting You? in our book, The Ten Hidden Barriers to Weight Loss and Exercise. Our individual coaching and consultation services can also help you become your own life-long source of support.

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4b. Keeping success for the long run

Most people will make progress towards their goals, only to return to old habits at some point down the road. That is an expected, yet frustrating, part of the change process. With practice, the new behaviors become more familiar and stronger over time. Old habits become weaker and less comfortable. As you well know, this is easier said than done! Old habits can be very strong and there is a nasty pull to fall back to your old ways.

To help you keep your new habits for the long run

Keep a realistic picture of the process. People often expect that they should simply have these skills and use them when needed. This "should" expectation will often lead to getting down on yourself. Be realistic in what you can expect of yourself and the time that it will take to reach your goals. If you aren’t sure what is a realistic expectation, ask your physician, a valued friend or us.

Practice your OnTrack skills. Patience, focus, and responsibility are skills, like any other skill. They need to be developed, repeated and reinforced. Over time, they will become stronger and more reliable. You need to be a good coach to yourself. Be supportive, patient, and keep practicing.

Stay aware of getting off track. Staying on track and doing what you should is a great goal but not realistic all the time. It is far better to accept that you will sometimes get off track. With a full awareness of your particular challenges, you will be in better position to deal with them and get back on track.

Make habits part of who you are. It will be very helpful to apply these skills in different areas of your life. OnTrack Skills are necessary for most of life’s endeavors. In addition to making them part of your lifestyle, think about the skills as being a part of you. "It’s just what I do" or "That is how I am now" are thoughts that reflect a new way of seeing yourself.

Caution Areas!

Keeping your new habits can be the most difficult part of the work. It is important to understand why it can be hard and to address these issues directly. Are any of the following concerns affecting you